Skip navigation

The Social Science behind flirting

Last Update : July 19, 2016

Flirting has become an inherent social action for human beings. But have you ever wondered why do we flirt ?

Is it a basic need or a social interaction ?
According to several anthropological studies, flirting has been found all around the world, in different historical times and different cultures. So is it a basic instinct then?

Is flirting instinctive ?

If we do understand flirting as the initial contact to start a courtship and express interest in the opposite sex in order to continue with the species’ reproduction, flirting becomes a basic instinct so the human species doesn’t become extinct. Makes sense right?

However, far from being in a society in which the mere and pure purpose is to have babies, we have been able to develop and create a more complex culture in which subjectivity, pleasure and norms have started to put their weight into this natural instinct.

Therefore flirting as we know it nowadays is not a mere basic instint but a mosaic of our cultural representations and norms.
Those so-called Laws of etiquette have a huge impact of our own subjectivities and identities which can create sometimes that fear to flirt or on the other extreme, an addiction to flirt.

Flirting includes all the verbal an non verbal language : gestures, facial expression, posture, eye contact, distance, intonation, touch, etc. Fashions are also continuously changing which oblige flirting tends to adapt and continuously readapt to current times.

Flirting is therefore a complex game, but the good news is that deep down we all carry the skill with us. We are all equipped to flirt.

As a social and cultural element, flirting becomes strictly regulated. And as any cultural and social element, the key to master the skill can be found in repetition and imitation.
Flirting is in you and everywhere around you.

Make sure you are attentive and willing to learn.

Guide to flirting : investigating and practising it

Indeed the two key elements to succeed !

Prior investigation is very important, as we have said, flirting tends to adapt to changes, trends and fashions. That is why it is basic to always be updated on the different trends.

Reading and researching is the best way for it. The dating websites are a perfect place for this as they give you they chance to open the debate on flirting trends with different people while you put on practice what you’ve learned !

Flirting is a fun activities with endless possibilities. It is uplifting and like almost everything that is good in life : challenging.
Prepare yourself, get ready and go for it !