Love can be wonderful and being in a relationship can make you see life in a more positive way… a relationship can be exciting, full of romance, two beings feeling connected and in love…until there’s a fight.
Couple’s fight tend to happen more often that most couple would like to confess. While it is important (and even healthy !) to fight from time to time, it is even more important to know how to get over a fight.
We give you three basic steps to successfully get over any fight with your partner.
# The importance of listening
The power of listening tends to be overrated. Specially when you are in the middle of a fight… listening is not easy and some people are better at it than others. But if you want to get over your argument and create a healthy relationship you have to listen. There’s no other way. Listening to what your partner tells you is the main key to understand why the fight started in the first place.
It is also important to note that by listening we actually mean active listening : taking into account what your partner is telling you, trying to understand his/her motivations, and giving him/ her space to talk.
# Don’t avoid self criticism
Once you’ve actually listened there are two common ways of reacting to what has been said : denial and attack. Your partner is probably going to tell things you don’t like to hear. You might feel attacked, you might feel insulted, insecure, sad… the spectrum of feelings that take places when fighting is very vast !
So how do most people face those feelings ? It’s pretty simple : they retaliate, which means that they either deny any responsibility or the attack back at their partners.
While we are not saying that you should agree with every criticism of your partner, we strongly recommend that you take some mental time to properly consider everything that has been said without avoiding self-criticism.
# Be honest and try to reach an agreement
The final step and perhaps the most obvious one is to be honest. However, even if it might sound obvious it is not always easy. Sometimes people are afraid of being 100% honest with their partner because certain truths could hurt them, or because sometimes plain honesty is not the most delicate way of talking…
However, if you’re not honest, you probably won’t be able to reach an optimal agreement that would not only work for both of you but one that would also ensure that the same argument doesn’t happen again in the future.
Embrace fights but make sure they don’t escalate into a nightmare out of control ! Relationships can be amazing, make sure you give the best of you !